vacocto maestro

resides in a high rise apartment in flarn york. dinner parties= a definite must, he hosts them weekly.

more to come….

miss sharpi quacksmith

miss quacksmith is a pencil sharpener-duck flarnimal with a ton of energy… she is constantly on the go, and always creating new physically active things to do (it makes her feel like she has more of a purpose in the flarniverse, of course). the little down time that she lets herself have is spent reading tarot cards and collecting stamps. sharpi is naturally drawn to virgo’s. also, she prefers the early fall due to the pleasant weather.

loves: tea tree oil, pencils, decimal points, licorice, circuit boards, drywall
hates: sprinklers, sour candy, soccer balls, laundry baskets, beets, watermelon

mootin cowmer

mootin is a seacow-ish flarnimal with a major shopping and dessert addiction. since he lacks opposable thumbs (and fingers in general) he collects various apparatuses that solve obvious issues when performing daily tasks (hence the ice cream cone holder on his right leg = one of his various late night inflarnmercial purchases). also, mr. cowmer is a sucker for a fine leather man-bag (he prefers to carry certain items with him always; 1 cherry flavored chapstick, 2 forks, 3 credit flarns, 1 hole punch, 6 bouncy balls, 1 snorkel, 1 set of keys). in the flarniverse he can function on land and water (for land mobility, utilization of a mechanical chair is necessary… and naturally he can breathe underwater).

likes: ceiling fans, cold dairy desserts, fancy leather goods, sea caves, clocks, grass, and pilates
dislikes:  seapigs, lasers, seapigs with lasers, synthetic fabrics, leaves, popcorn kernels, and stucco

whaleton vonBatsenburgh

whaleton is a war veteran with many tales to tell… the only tail he lacks is the physical one he once had. his natural born blind bat traits only took effect in one eye…(hence the eye patch he wears given to him by a fellow pirate he once sailed with in the flarnlantic seas) his old age has taken a toll on his wings, he can no longer fly, therefore depends on his wheel tail and cane to get around.

likes: flarncardi and coke, scallywags, pinball, and crusty vermin.
dislikes: facsimile machines, bobby pins, bird beaks, phone books, and yo yos

ms. shearstrich mcCutterson

shearstrich is an avid lover of music, she participates in monthly piano recitals (if you’re wondering, she pecks the keys with her beak)… she also enjoys pampering herself with pedicures and purchasing lavish jewelry made of pearls (she’s a gemini, pearls are her birthstones). ms. mcCutterson sometimes constructs collages in her spare time (scissor legs obviously come in handy for that, coupon clipping, and many other obvious everyday activities) she is single and currently looking to date (shearstrich is on e-flarnony.com looking for her future prince flarning)

pleasures : badminton, holes, swiss cheese (cause of the holes), pots of spaghetti, quotation marks, and gingersnaps.
repellents: snickerdoodles, loose threads, shag carpeting, suitcases, geo metros, televised award shows, and dictionaries.

lamowl whodurschmidt

mr. lamowl whodurschmidt often finds himself dreaming of penny farthings while sipping on his preferred  adult beverage of brandy. (really, who doesn’t dream of penny farthings while sipping on brandy? i’d sure like to know.) anyway, lamowl has a top hat and freshly pressed bow-tie for each day of the week. when he plugs in his tail, his eyes light up and help him see at night… since he is half table lamp the normal owl night vision was sacrificed but was made up for with his plug tail of course. the only difference is that he needs an extension cord to go more than a few feet, a minor set back when trying to hunt down his evening snack.

mr. whodurschmidt fancies: bags of jewels, readily available wall sockets, golden doubloons, and cauliflower
dislikes: cowboy hats, witches, gas stations, coors light, cubicles, and sandboxes

finn goldstien

mr. goldstien hasn’t seen much of the flarniverse, he is stuck in a bowl. being half moose and half goldfish has its obvious drawbacks, his walker helps him to keep his head above water for survival purposes, and his glasses aid him to see what’s going on outside his dwelling without the distortion from the bowl. finn’s hobbies include, interior design (a.k.a. moving his marbles around his bowl and changing the placement of his plants), bubble blowing, and bingo on wednesday nights.

finn’s annoyances: flarnimals gone wild dvds, dust, algae, reality shows, flowers, and lazy repairmen
his likes: water polo, dishtowels,  the idea of teleportation, vodka, time traveling in general, and gauze

professor spraiun a. phibian

professor phibian is a rare species of flarnimal… wait,  i think they all are actually. hmmm, anyway so… mr. phibian teaches physics at the local flarniversity, and provides free tennis lessons on weekends. one of spraiun’s best attributes are his eyes… typical when one describes their best attribute, i know… but i’m sure you guessed it, yes, his eyes are capable of expelling tons magnificent colors of paint whenever it’s desired. he’s actually quite the artist… mr. phibian’s pieces are currently displayed in many art flarneries around the city and all of his works are very well received.

the proffesor’s dislikes: beef jerky, turpentine, sauerkraut, tourists, and spatulas…
his loves: scotch, raspberries, cork-boards, marshes, and jellyfish

raffina snaibulb

normally a snail-like species would be considered slow, but with lightbulb eyes and giraffe legs, raffina has quite the advantage in the flarniverse…she can run fast, see in the dark, and her slug front body helps her to grasp onto and climb vertical surfaces. raffina is a well respected female in the flarnimal kingdom, she is very intelligent and of course… multi talented.

ms. snaibulb likes to explore libraries on weekends, relax at the local cafe with a refreshing iced latte, dig her hooves in beach sand (and sometimes the barrel of pinto beans at the farmers market…) and count the cracks on the sidewalks outside of her dwelling. Raffina is severely repulsed by salt, fluorescent lighting, the color red, and anything inflatable…

trumpy birblu

while wearing his plaid ivy cap and making musical melodies with his almost weightless trumpet beak, mr. birblu enjoys noozling up in his suitcase on his leaf nest and drinking his morning tea. he chose the suitcase instead of a tree for his nest because he has such a love for traveling, it just makes things easier to have his nest pre-packed and ready to go… trumpy wonders why all bird like creatures don’t do the same. he has traveled to every city in the flarnited states, and now is continuing his adventures overseas.

naturally he is fascinated with garbage trucks, jack-o-lanterns, frisbees, velcro, and chess. mr. birblu can definitely do without bubble gum ice cream, lights in tennis shoes, and party streamers.

stape ocerous

stape is the most athletic of all the flarnimal kingdom. he competes in many events and is not shy about his trophies and various gold medals. one day there is hope to participate in the olympics once flarnimals are allowed to compete and aren’t discriminated against. he has been some trouble with his unfortunate top heavy-ness, but has conquered it with hours and hours of rigorous training.

mr. ocerous likes to keep his papers together and his place of dwelling immaculately organized; his severe dislikes include, gemini’s (they are too flighty), coupons (they expire too much) and yo yo’s (they get tangled easily in his tusks). stape is currently 3.5 years old and is looking to purchase a new dishwasher.

albin dolpheer & his intoxicated servant squirrel, acornimus

albin doplheer obviously has a love for the saxophone and trikes. since a trike is hard for a dolpheer to ride he has a servant squirrel named acornimus who swiftly bounces from pedal to pedal to get him from place to place. when hired, albin made acornimus dye his fur white so he would match him. also,  mr. dolpheer isn’t too fond of acornimus’s drinking habits, but tolerates it for the time being since he is the swiftest pedaler in town.

albin enjoys the musical stylings of neil diamond, tiger fur and counting windows on office buildings. some of his dislikes include jungle gyms in sandboxes, marshmallows, and ginger snaps.